Trusting God

"Trust God." "He knows your needs and will provide." "Read Psalm such and such..." "Read and claim his promises." I have said these words to many friends going through financial difficulties over the years. Some even in the last few months. I have told them that God will provide when it is in His timing. I have even told them I will be praying for you and I do. For the first time in my life I am now the one hearing those words aimed at me. For the first time in my Christ-following life, I am having to rely on God more than ever.

This week my husband and I received word that we had bounced checks and creditors calling for this months payment and there is little we can do about it. Neither of us have a job right now. What little money we do have is used to buy food, and only what we absolutely need.

Prayers and bible verses are great when you aren't in the "we are about to lose everything" mode. They don't buy food, pay bills, or put gas in the car. I sent emails to friends who let us know that they were about to lose their job filled with trust God and we are praying for you. And for them a job came through before they faced financial disaster. Thanks to twitter I have many people I have never met face to face praying for David & I. Pray that God will provide a job for us. Family and friends are praying and repeating the words that I said to them many times.

Now that we are facing financial difficulties, I feel my spirit facing difficulties to remaining faithful. I want to yell "Psalm such & such or any other verse won't buy bread." I find myself bargaining with God and yet another day goes by without a job. One dear friend said on twitter "If only we could get good news tomorrow and not have to sweat out the weekend." I replied back "Amen. David & I are learning to rely on God more that we ever have." Then another dear friend replied "And with 'that' tweet God gets the glory."

This is also teaching me that when you are facing financial difficulties or any other problems it is ok to say "I'll pray for you" and make sure you do, but what the person also needs is something more concrete. Asking them "what can I do for you" does not help sometimes because they may not know what it is they really need or may be too embarrassed to ask. So far in this storm I have learned that not only do I need to pray for that person but I need to ask God what He wants me to do FOR that person. God reminded me that so far we have not had to pay for food on some days because great friends have taken us out to dinner or through the bible studies we are involved in.

When we had the means to help a friend out, all I did was say "I'll pray for you" and I did. I now realize that more is needed besides a prayer or an encouraging word. So one lesson learned and will be glad when I can put it into practice. What's next.............................

To be continued as God continues to teach me through this storm................................................

How do I Pray for Healing?

This week I have 2 dear friends facing medical crisis with a parent. The first, Mary, her mom was found unconscious and went into a coma. After about a week Mary and her family needed to make the decision to take her off the ventilator and let her go to her eternal home. The second, Elaine, her dad under went colon surgery to remove more cancer. The day after surgery he was fine, up and walked in the room and was even doing his breathing exercises. The next morning Elaine and her family receives a call that her dad was critical, going to ICU and being put on a ventilator. My heart grieves from afar for my dear friends and I wish I could be with them to provide comfort.

So how do I pray for healing? I know there are two types of healing, healing back to life and healing to our eternal home. For Mary, my prayers have been for our Merciful God to take her mom home quickly when the ventilator is removed and that she has no suffering. For Elaine, my pray is that God will send an answer that to let the family know that all is going to be okay and this is just a bump in the road. I sometimes feel guilty praying for one's healing to be death and the other to be life. I feel I am cheating my friend of her mother. I also feel an overwhelming sense of peace that both of my prayers are the right ones. Both of my friends are friends of each other too. So do I talk about Elaine's dad stabilizing and getting better to Mary, knowing that her mom is dying? This is where I feel life is unfair! This is also where I get on my knees and pray that God speaks through me and I don't. I had a long talk last night with Mary. I pray that my words were of comfort.

I know for Elaine's dad my prayer for healing to life is right, that if at any point God says not this time, my prayer was answered. It may not have been the answer I wanted or Elaine wanted, but it was the answer God gave us. I also know that God is sovereign and will see us through this difficult time no matter how He answers our prayers of healing.

Remember To Treasure The Moments

Today my grandmother would have been 93 years young. I hadn't remembered until my calendar alarm chimed with an alert. It was to remind me that it was Nanny's Birthday. I started crying. Nanny went to be with our Lord  & Savior on August 20, 2008. She is spending the BESTEST birthday ever. (Thanks Sammie for that word.) She is dancing and singing with The Lord, Papa, and all our family that welcomed her into heaven in August. 

            I sent a text message to my sisters and daughter that said:

"I hope y'all are having a better day than me. My calendar alert reminded me this am it is Nanny's Birthday. I was flooded with memories, remembering the good times with her & Papa. Love you guys. Remember to treasure every moment with your family no matter how much they may disappoint you. Remember to turn those times over to God & let Him take care of it."

            My family hasn't been perfect. There have been things that have happened in the past that many have not forgiven others for, me included. Unfortunately my grandfather developed Alzheimer's Dementia before I could tell him I forgave him. I also didn't get a chance to ask for forgiveness, forgiveness for neglecting them. I lived only 2 hours away and rarely went to see them, because of unforgiven hurts. I told him years later, I just pray that God let my words be understood. I did get a chance to tell Nanny before she died & I think she understood. 

            Today God spoke to me about treasuring every moment with my family and let Him take care of the hurts. My family is spread out where it makes getting together difficult, but I have determined that some way I will see my family at least once a year, preferably more often. This is going to be especially important to me when my son and his fiancée leave for Mali, West Africa in a few years. 

            My plans now are to find ways to make memories with my family, treasure every moment I get to spend with them and talk to them. And most importantly ask them to forgive me for anything I have done that has hurt them and to forgive them for the things they have done that I have let hurt me. I don't want to feel regret the next time a member of my family goes to be with the Lord. (Hopefully this will be many years away so I can make many memories for us.) I'm also going to challenge my family to write down their treasured memories to put in a family book. I hope that this will be a treasure that will continue to grow every day. 

TREASURE THE MOMENTS. Don't let hurts and disappointments stand in the way. 

Review of "For These ToughTimes" by Max Lucado

If you have ever had a tough time in your life from the loss of a loved one to the loss of a job, Max Lucado's book "For These Tough Times" is the book to help you. It is a short easy to read book. Lucado starts off asking "Where is God?" then proceeds to show us not only where He is but how He is using the circumstances to help us through the tough times.

Though we may not be able to see his purpose or his plan, the Lord of heaven is on his throne and in firm control of the universe and our lives. So we entrust him with our future. We entrust him with our very lives. (emphasis mine)

Lucado wrote this book in 2006 and couldn't be better for today with the uncertainty many of us have regarding our future. Lucado reminds us to trust the very ONE who knows what is best for us at any given time in our life and how our future will turn out. He reminds us to keep our eyes on the Father and that Satan can be used to do the work of heaven. I love the way Lucado ended the book with a prayer for troubled times.

What A Journey... What An Awesome God!

I had planned to tell about how God led me to travel nursing sooner, but decided to wait to the end of the year because this journey really started in the beginning of 2008 and this is a fitting way to end 2008. Praising God for what He has done for me this year and how I have grown in Him.

In the beginning of 2008, I started feeling a need to move on in my nursing career. The job I was doing was not fulfilling me anymore. At first I couldn't put my finger on it then it came to me, the job I was doing was not the job I had started the year before. the President of the company I was working for seemed more interested in the money than the care of the patients. In hospice compassionate caring is a must. The nurses, nursing assistants, social workers, and chaplains I worked with were and still are doing a great job in providing end of life care for these patients. Unfortunately, management started having patients that were either not appropriate or ready for hospice admitted to hospice services. I was the admission nurse. My name goes on the certification paper stating that the patient qualifies, so if I found a patient that didn't qualify and after talking to the doctor still didn't find a reason for hospice services at that time, I didn't admit the patient to hospice. this upset the President of the company. There were some patients who after they had signed the legal paperwork with the marketer and then I went to do the assessment and started the education of what to expect from the staff and the disease process decided that they weren't ready for hospice services, so again I didn't admit and president of company got mad. My boss, who had worked with me and was the one who trained me in hospice, knew that I would try to find a way to qualify or if patient wasn't ready a way to show them how our service would be beneficial and that it didn't mean that they would be dead tomorrow and if the admission didn't happen I had done all I could.

So in April I started to lose heart in my job. I started looking at other options and felt God leading me to travel nursing. I inquired with a company and was able to start by the end of the month and they had hospice assignments. I put the idea to my husband and he shot it down. I couldn't get him to see that travel nursing made enough money so he could retire completely and travel with me. But because he is the man I love with all my heart and married, I vowed to honor and obey so I put travel nursing behind me. My husband told me that when we get the bills paid off in 5 years (which was our goal and we're on track to meet it) then we would look at travel nursing then. I agreed knowing that I can do anything as long as I remember who gave me the job and the passion to help people... God, the Great Physician.

Admissions went smoother from that point until October when it all started again. in one week I didn't admit three people, two not appropriate and one not ready mentally but needed hospice desperately. One Friday I was called into my boss's office and informed that I was being let go " because I know hospice too well". He told me that they were eliminating my position, giving me a month's severance pay and wouldn't fight unemployment if I had to apply. He told me that if they added the admission nurse position back they would hire someone who didn't know hospice that well. Being a nurse I shouldn't have needed to go to unemployment. I took a week off to absorb what had just happened to me. Then I started job hunting. The papers had no listings for RN's for 3 weeks, not even the Atlanta Journal and Constitution. I then looked back into travel nursing. I felt God strongly pulling me that way. Hubby still wasn't convinced. At the end of my severance time, I still didn't have a job and had to go on unemployment. I even went to a nursing job fair in Atlanta, handed out 20 resumes and never received a call.

I finally got a call from my recruiter at the travel agency with possibilities in Mississippi, Connecticut, or California. So the  wait began to see which place would call & interview me. Connecticut and California did. Connecticut I was their second choice, California chose me. While waiting for those calls I met a nurse recruiter at the Mall of Georgia. All seemed promising, but when I called that Monday she didn't have anything available before I was to leave for California. 

I felt through it all that God was telling me to go travel nursing and all the other positive opportunities was His way of reminding me that He was in control and working for what was best for me. 

David and I decided I would do the first assignment alone to see if it was as good money-wise as everyone was telling us. On the trip to California, God revealed to me that the pay I was getting was weekly not biweekly, that meant every other week I was making more than my husband made very 2 weeks. So it looks like the next assignment, he and our puppy will be joining me and we will combine my two loves nursing and traveling. Also combining my husband's love, being wherever I am. 

These 3 months are going to be hard, but it is something we are used to. He spent 20 years in the Navy and was gone 6-9 months each year for 3 years at a time and then 2-3 months out of the year for the next 3 years. 

Once in California, God again showed me His provision. After getting here, I had to go to Sacramento to get my nursing license for CA. I get there and find out I don't have what I need to get my license in 1 day and GA wasn't being helpful. This was all on a Wednesday. The best I was looking at was 10 days. So here I am in California with no job and no money. I do all I can to expedite my license and hope that by Monday they would have my GA verification. It took me all day to get fingerprinted, picture taken, and FedEx paperwork to GA. I turn everything in to the CA office and was ready to leave when the reviewer talked to me and 10 minutes later handed me my temporary CA license. WHAT A MIRACLE! I was constantly being told that without GA verification I wouldn't get my CA license. But God provided and I started my new job on time.

This whole year has taught me to rely on God, trust in Him for everything. 3 weeks on unemployment really stunk. Thank God we had started following a spending plan that Crown Financial Ministries developed and had money in savings to cover us through that time. I can't wait to see what He has in store for me in 2009. Whatever it is, it will be for my own good, to grow me and to make me more like Him. Looking forward to the next leg of my journey with God.